One Thousand Years
Genesage
" A Rose is a Rose?"
(Chp 4:10)
Brother Michael had closed his eyes.
He did not stop seeing, she was looking at him. He knew she was looking at him, he had seen her. He had looked only briefly but it was enough.
His breathing was quick. It was deep and he could not evade the feelings that were pursuing him. Feelings rushing after him, chasing him, seeking to engulf him as he fled their familiar response.
The feelings so long lost to him and forgotten never to be remembered were stirred.
Moving him, they arrested him. Binding him in ways he would have preferred to forget. Trapped, he saw the feelings all over again in the love he had felt. The love he had known. The love long ago suppressed and not dealt with.
But the look had….,
The look had…made him…remember.
She had been his fiancée, but now she was gone.
Crashing realities of expressive memories sought to entangle his moment of perception with clarity far beyond his comprehension. There was no way he could be thinking what he was thinking. It was impossible that his rationale mind could be impinging upon his present reality when he had locked those thoughts far away from him.
How could he be thinking them now?
It was what he saw in Rose. What he “beheld” in those eyes. What he felt was the same “look” he had once known, and he recognized it again. Recognized it in a place it was impossible for it to be.
In Rose.
The “fullness of living” the “completeness of being” the sheer reality of all that Rose was completed a link in his mind he had denied himself for so long. To love.
The loss of love he had accepted. To love again he had rejected. Every day he was alive he denied himself to consider, feel and release. He would not, he could not, he dare not love again. The pain of gain then the loss was too great.
Yet there was love staring him in the face.
He saw it in Rose Eyes
Dare he “feel” that way again?
In agony he let go and was free.
Rachael not far away considered the warmth and feelings she had, they swarmed from her loins and flowed to her heart. They made her want to cry out and run. Run and never stop.
To laugh and to cry, to run and be set free, to dance and to enjoy. She wanted to go forward and dare not yet. In some way her soul felt for and embraced her, Rose, the PlantKind.
She felt she the great need to protect her, to console her, to help her, to be near her. She had never felt so "maternal" before. It ached in her breasts, it burned in her belly, she felt akin to the oneness Rose was in Creation. She felt the greatest ache she had ever known in her life and agonized to be fulfilled in that moment she “looked” into those eyes.
Nehevivor was struggling to remain calm. He wanted to run away. He couldn't think, he couldn't move The air was stifling for him. He needed to get away. He needed to think this out. It was too much raw emotion. He didn't know how to deal with it. He was overwhelmed. He felt as though walls were chasing him. He wanted to get away before they got him. He could not get away.
They were closing in on him. He..,
Donald was surprised. All his instincts and survival skills told him this wasn't possible. This couldn't be what he was seeing, yet he was feeling it none the less.
A Rose bush of all things.
Donald felt as though he were standing completely naked, bereft of all pretenses and with no pride now. No ego, merely a child to be encouraged to grow up, grow strong, mature.
Donald who always felt mature, in control, in command, for the first time while held in the Gaze of Rose, felt like a little boy in comparison to what he felt like looking in those eyes. He struggled to remain calm and keep his composure.
Donald was not succeeding.
Everyone was reacting differently. If there was anything uniform about the effect of the “Gaze of Rose” it was that it was universal. Everyone was affected, no one was excluded. Everyone had retreated to their own inner sanctum and found someone there.
Someone foreign, someone they could not take their eyes off of. Someone or something that was not a threat exactly, for all the emotions were one of sympathy, compassion, love, from Rose.
Yet to have a total stranger to be inside your very emotional center affecting it was disconcerting.
Those who had wanted transparency in their previous life now had a dose of what that was really like. With the Gaze of Rose lasting so short, none were sure that transparency was something to be desired after all.
Sane people required limits and parameters. Place to hide behind. This was too wide open emote with no boundaries apparent. Everyone except Eben had recoiled from that contact. They were unprepared.
But Eben had embraced it.
Not only did they find someone foreign touching the very center of their being, but in transmigration to the “Center of Rose” they began to see themselves through someone else's eyes. That was uncomfortable. Discombobulating to almost all of them.
Especially so since most did not really see themselves as they truly were.
Nor did they even see themselves as they thought they were.
They saw themselves through the filter of the “Heart of Rose”.
They could see through Rose colored glasses with themselves appearing better than they were. Yet the purity of the sight was exhilarating. It was humbling and unique to each one separately. No one who met that Gaze, and all did, was left without a clearer vision of themselves.
No one hid when Rose had Gazed upon them, none could.
Rose saw them, and they….saw Rose.
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